I know I already did a write up on my favorite show, LOST. But, that was last season. Season 2 has been underway for a while now and at this time I would like to say that it still rules!

Many are the detractors that say such things as “It’s getting way too Sci Fi”. WHAT? There is no such thing as too much Sci Fi, you soap opera fan! Good shows is good shows. The LOST crew has been giving us good drama with plenty of layers of geeky goodness, like websites and numbers and nerdly mystery. The only problem I have with LOST, this season, is what they gave us for Christmas: JACK SQUAT. January 11th, episode 10 will air. You know when we saw episode 9? Yeah, it was like way before I got my pubes. OK, it wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like it. They went bye bye for, like, a month and a half. That’s about 3 dog years. As I said, we are currently in season 2. What a season! We got to meet a bunch of new characters. New characters? They are stranded on an island! Yes, but, much like the island, things are not always what they seem. My new favorite character is Mr. Eko. He’s a big African dude. I’m not being politically correct, he’s ACTUALLY African. And actually big. He’s like a warrior and he carries a big stick around with him and he writes stuff on it. Man, I want to do that in my life. Just walk into Taco Bell with my big ol’ stick. “Hi, can I get 3 bean burritos, no sauce, no onions? And a medium Pepsi.” And that poor little dude, Asuncion, would be all freaked at the register! “Por here or to go?” I don’t really want to scare Asuncion. He’s cool. Probably my favorite Taco Bell employee. I just want to feel all strong and confident when I walk about. Now I just feel chubby and 16 years old. I still don’t hate LOST even though they tease me so with their scheduling. And really, it’s ABC that schedules the show. So I hate ABC, but not LOST! They say don’t bite the hand that feeds you, but if ABC keeps messing around with my show, I will bite the hand of ABC. Since I can’t actually bite ABC’s actual hand, I will use a surrogate hand. I will bite Frank.

Matt Steele and I went and saw The Chronicles of Narnia – (TCONTLTWATW). The Lion, The Witch and The WardrobeIt’s one of the only movies this year with a longer name than The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous AND The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Sheesh! With titles this long we might as well read the book. I almost didn’t make it on time as I was detained by one of Santa Barbara County’s finest. No, not Oprah. A cop. You see, I rolled through a yield sign RIGHT in front of a Sheriff. After giving him my license, I couldn’t produce my proof of insurance or current registration (expired the day before). I’d like to thank Aslan for the Deep Magic that he used when the Sheriff let me off with a warning! Sweet! Oprah wouldn’t have let me off with a warning. She would’ve radio’d Dr. Phil McKrackin for backup. Matt and I had a bad taste in our mouths about this movie, at first, due to the hobo sitting behind us floating such a stink that we had a bad taste in our mouths… about this movie… at first. Seriously, it smelled like old beer and smokes wrapped in horse. Not a talking horse. A regular stinky one. Now back to TCONTLTWATW. I first read the book in high school. It was for a Children’s Lit class so I didn’t pay it much attention. I blame Frank. He was in the class with me, making me laugh all the time. Stupid Frank. Later on I decided to read through all of TCON. I loved them. They were fun and I didn’t mind the Christian allegory as I actually like Jesus. There has been some complaining about the film being “too Christian” but we never heard the word Jesus once. Well, ok, once from this lady behind us after some knuckleface up front set his wine bottle or bowling ball down on the concrete twice. But, I don’t think that lady was being religious. I thought the way Lewis wrote Aslan was terrific. I always felt sense of awe when reading about him. And that’s really where this movie failed my geek standard. I didn’t feel it. I wanted to blame the CGI effects but I think it’s the story telling. After a well placed lion roar in a fireplace, at the beginning, we never see any hint of the lion until he walks out of his tent. Oh by the way, Kevin nailed it when he called Aslan’s camp a Renaissance Fair. Silly. So, out walks the lion and I hear geek issue #2: Liam Neeson. I love the guy but he’s been in EVERYTHING lately. Way too familiar. This lion is talking and I’m thinking “Do what Qui Gon Jinn says, kids. He’s a wise Jedi master. And if he can teach Batman to be a ninja, he deserves your respect. Plus, if he puts you on his list, he’ll save you from the holocaust.” I might be nit picking but we can’t just leave those nits in there. We gotta pick ‘em. So those are really my 2 main problems. Now, to the stuff I loved! The kids were awesome, well cast and they played their parts pretty spot on. Lucy (Georgie Henley) was my favorite. Seeing her walking into Narnia was magical. Tilda Swindon played the Witch quite well. It was fun to see Kiran Shah as her dwarf. He’s paid serious dues as a stand-in for Merry the Hobbit in all 127 hours of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Oh, speaking of LOTR, it’s well known that Lewis and Tolkein were pals and shared these stories together. So, I’m ok with this production having so much in common with LOTR. It feels kind of appropriate. While TCONTLTWATW had some problems, I DID NOT HATE IT. I’m glad it was made and Prince Caspian or TCONPC is underway. Merry Christmas everybody!

Sometimes my life rules. Not so much in the beginning, what with the drunk, violent parents and their hankering for smack, but later on in life. Like on Monday night, for instance, when I got to see Peter Jackson‘s KING KONG a week before it’s released!!! That’s right, me (in a huge theater full of press) and the great ape with a little get together before he crushes theaters this Kwanzaa!
We met up with Stephanie from, future CM.com publicist, Carol Marshall PR. It was a bit nerve wracking at first when my movie buddy, Roger, didn’t find his name on “the list”. But a phone call to the right exec, and we were in like Regis Philbin. After checking the cell phones and going through the Israeli security check point, there it was welcoming us in… The table of free JUMBO POPCORN AND GINORMOUS COKE!!! You may recall my near emergency at the Jarhead screening involving a large coke and my almost soaking my jockeys and socks. Well, I made it through 3 hours of King Kong without incident. Super bladder.
There have been some who claim that the 3 hour playing time is too long. Whoever said that has a pathological over-estimation of the value of his own time. Or a tiny bladder. And you know what they say about guys with tiny bladders… The same guy probably spent a good 37 minutes trying to perfect his combover. That’s a mathematical impossibility, by the way. It cannot be. Just like when someone asks where to get “good Indian food”. The answer is “Nowhere, sir. Now, would you move your bad combover, I’m trying to watch the last 37 minutes of King Kong.”
For those of you that watch Mtv’s Laguna Beach religiously, King Kong was a movie released March 2, 1933. Oh, and 1933 was a year from, like, the calendar a long, long time ago. Not as old as dinosaurs though. Speaking of dinosaurs, there are dinosaurs-a-plenty in PJ’s King Kong! Imagine if you put Jurassic Park 1 thru 4 in de coconut and shake it all up. You’d be getting close to the prehistoric parade that is PJ’s King Kong. Yes, I know there isn’t a Jurassic Park 4 yet. But there will be. And it won’t compare. Oh, Laguna Beach side bar, I think L.C. should totally ditch Stephen. Every time he comes back to town he is such a tease. Who needs the mind games?
When the original King Kong came out it was a huge deal. Why? Well, the hot ticket prior to Kong was the Lone Ranger… on the radio. I’m not saying that this Kong film makes THAT much of a leap, but it does raise the proverbial filmmaking bar.
Now is the part of my write up where I use every Kong/ape pun I can think of while I gush over the living proof that God loves geeks: Peter Jackson.
Peter Jackson’s King Kong is Kong-tastic!! Apert and Rope-ape give Kong 4 opposable thumbs up! Way up! A KONG sized adventure! Did somebody say multiple Ape-cademy Awards!?!
I did NOT hate this movie, my people! I need to see it again. There is so much to take in. I actually got dizzy watching Kong on the Empire State building. Naomi Watts is incredible as Ann Darrow and she really is the emotional heart of the film. The CGI Kong is pretty breathtaking. That computerized ape can act!
Big thanks to Roger for the fun trip! You can check out his review over at The Independent (www.independent.com) starting Friday, Dec 9.