Matt Steele and I went and saw The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (TCONTLTWATW). It’s one of the only movies this year with a longer name than The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous AND The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Sheesh! With titles this long we might as well read the book. I almost didn’t make it on time as I was detained by one of Santa Barbara County’s finest. No, not Oprah. A cop. You see, I rolled through a yield sign RIGHT in front of a Sheriff. After giving him my license, I couldn’t produce my proof of insurance or current registration (expired the day before). I’d like to thank Aslan for the Deep Magic that he used when the Sheriff let me off with a warning! Sweet! Oprah wouldn’t have let me off with a warning. She would’ve radio’d Dr. Phil McKrackin for backup. Matt and I had a bad taste in our mouths about this movie, at first, due to the hobo sitting behind us floating such a stink that we had a bad taste in our mouths… about this movie… at first. Seriously, it smelled like old beer and smokes wrapped in horse. Not a talking horse. A regular stinky one. Now back to TCONTLTWATW. I first read the book in high school. It was for a Children’s Lit class so I didn’t pay it much attention. I blame Frank. He was in the class with me, making me laugh all the time. Stupid Frank. Later on I decided to read through all of TCON. I loved them. They were fun and I didn’t mind the Christian allegory as I actually like Jesus. There has been some complaining about the film being “too Christian” but we never heard the word Jesus once. Well, ok, once from this lady behind us after some knuckleface up front set his wine bottle or bowling ball down on the concrete twice. But, I don’t think that lady was being religious. I thought the way Lewis wrote Aslan was terrific. I always felt sense of awe when reading about him. And that’s really where this movie failed my geek standard. I didn’t feel it. I wanted to blame the CGI effects but I think it’s the story telling. After a well placed lion roar in a fireplace, at the beginning, we never see any hint of the lion until he walks out of his tent. Oh by the way, Kevin nailed it when he called Aslan’s camp a Renaissance Fair. Silly. So, out walks the lion and I hear geek issue #2: Liam Neeson. I love the guy but he’s been in EVERYTHING lately. Way too familiar. This lion is talking and I’m thinking “Do what Qui Gon Jinn says, kids. He’s a wise Jedi master. And if he can teach Batman to be a ninja, he deserves your respect. Plus, if he puts you on his list, he’ll save you from the holocaust.” I might be nit picking but we can’t just leave those nits in there. We gotta pick ‘em. So those are really my 2 main problems. Now, to the stuff I loved! The kids were awesome, well cast and they played their parts pretty spot on. Lucy (Georgie Henley) was my favorite. Seeing her walking into Narnia was magical. Tilda Swindon played the Witch quite well. It was fun to see Kiran Shah as her dwarf. He’s paid serious dues as a stand-in for Merry the Hobbit in all 127 hours of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Oh, speaking of LOTR, it’s well known that Lewis and Tolkein were pals and shared these stories together. So, I’m ok with this production having so much in common with LOTR. It feels kind of appropriate. While TCONTLTWATW had some problems, I DID NOT HATE IT. I’m glad it was made and Prince Caspian or TCONPC is underway. Merry Christmas everybody!