Hip Hop Becomes Him

Here’s an excerpt from my unfinished Hip Hopera, “That Shorty at the Food Court Straight Ganked My Heart, Yo!”

93 Million Miles
by Chris Mundell

There are 93 million miles to the sun but I don’t have a car so I can’t drive 1
Was a time a pair of dimes I could call you I guess I’ll never know cuz I don’t have 2
If I had gold fronts would you see me? does me plus you plus love make 3?
Does she like a man rough and hard core or one that knows love, who and what for?
I think I need her just to survive. like Sacha Baron-Cohen needs a “Hi 5!”
I would live with her way out in the sticks or in the big city, 34th and 6th
Frequent flier miles up in Heaven What’s this ten gonna see in this 7?
Call a scientist cuz she radiates! Got so much to appreciate.
Take a truck of luck to make her mine Her like me, that’s asinine.
She just smiled at me just there, right then The rest of my words are forgotten.


  1. oh my…you make me laugh out loud! glad to see a return to your roots…if t-bone could only see you now.

  2. Steeeeeeeeeeee says

    Yo, that was Phat, yo!!
    Is that still a word, phat? You know I was never into the rap, so I’m not sure. But I know talent when I hear it, and I say you’re the next Kid n Play. Their still famous, aren’t they? No? Damn!

  3. Steeeeeeeeeeeeee says

    Holy grammar! I flubbed and wrote “Their still famous…” when it should have been “They’re still famous…”. Sorry, Mom. 🙁

  4. yeah boi!

  5. Ed Melendez UNITED STATES says

    Wow! keeping it real for reals in the 805 Wuz-Up Tri-Counties!

  6. You just have to know Chris, that my husband Matt is extremely fond of this little ditty you’ve made. So much so that he set it on repeat and now my son (6) and daughter (2 1/2) danced around to it for like an hour. And now my son is trying very hard to rap the words around the house, and of course it’s all gobblety-goop, until all of a sudden he’ll yell ‘can’t drive 1!’

    Just wanted you to know that you are famous. 🙂

  7. hopes,
    i’s don’t know much about rap neitha, but i know you are da bomb and i know i was laughing so hard my abs got a workout better than pilates! 🙂 one of my top ten things to do in my lifetime is get inside your brain and see how it works! thanks for all the laughs.

  8. J.C. and the Moonlight soloist UNITED STATES says

    I could say that was sick but it would be like saying water is wet. Hip-Hop Mastery. Funk 101.