Archive for July, 2007
Goodbye Tonsils! Peace out, Adnoids!
My girl, Malia Hope, had a successful couple of -ectomies this morning.
She was so brave is now resting and dreaming of all the ice cream she will dine on this week.
Jade came straight over from her lunch lady job at Adams Elementary School
Yo, my peoples! My work buddy, Jim Eddy, and I are rocking* Redwood City, California!
Did you know it’s climate was rated best by a government test? In case you forget, there’s a lighted sign to remind you. I think Santa Barbara should have a sign like that. You know, if I’m driving around and forget, I could look up and - in lights - SANTA BARBARA - YOU MAKE HALF AS MUCH AS YOU NEED TO LIVE HERE. I want to give a shout out to all my friends who hail from charming Redwood City: Anthony Spencer Davis, Esquire! Kellen “Honking Thunder” Soifer! Tad “T-Bone” Wagner! And finally, Redwood City Mayor Barbara Pierce! 
While Mayor Pierce isn’t technically my friend, she is a friend of the public good. I mean, she’s been on city council since that freakin blow hard Ira Ruskin was mayor. Plus, she really knows how to wear a broach! If that’s not worthy of a shout out, the terrorists have already won, my friend.
Jim and I finished our work in time to bring our matching facial hair to see Live Free or Die Hard. We’re just friends. I mean he has seen me in my underwear, but so have you, most likely. So, platonic.
I should host one of those travel shows. I’m good at going to a place a looking at stuff and saying things and then writing about those same things using words and grammar. And punctuation marks.
*rocking: Installing computers, server and network gear. Making sure the VPN is functional bleep squeek meep mop eeeeeeeeeeee urrrrrrrrrr awwwwwwww blurp flaaaaaarbt 010011110001110001010110001001…
It’s never a position you plan to find yourself. It’s humiliating, embarrassing and if you could hide it you would. But you know that, eventually, they would find out. Your tummy is getting inordinately large. It’s a fact you need to face - Head on.
And I do so now: I went to see Knocked Up with Jeff Hatfield, Kevin Grose and Frank Paul Mastromarino, Jr. (no website) and I’m overweight. It was smack in between Jeff and Frank’s 37th birthday. I figured it would be nice to go to a Dodgers game. But first, some antics in lovely Los Angeles. It was “devil’s crack” degrees out so “antics” meant a movie in the well air conditioned Universal City Walk theater.
You may recall that I enjoyed, writer/director, Judd Apatow’s 40 Year Old Virgin quite a bit. I was looking forward to the 2nd in - what I have coined - his “Relations Trilogy”, Knocked Up. As with 40YOV, Apatow has created a touching “Do The Right Thing” tale (not Spike Lee’s movie with black people) wrapped in a ton of crude humor.
Since Jeff, Frank, Kevin and I have successfully reproduced (to varying degrees - Jeff can only make girls), we could relate to the main character, Ben (played by Seth Rogan) except that we got our ladies with-child-ed AFTER marrying them. Also, we didn’t spend our youth smoking ridiculous amounts of weed. When I say “we” I mean Jeff and me and mostly Frank. Still, I think every guy has had “… I got someone pregnant?” on his “What If” list at some point or another. Right between “… I could fly?” and “… I was a totally rad ninja?”.
The cast is pretty perfect. Ben and his buddies (the gang from Freaks and Geeks) were pretty likable but I wouldn’t want my daughters to have babies with any of them. At all. NOT because they’re Jewish. That’s racist. It’s because they were a bunch of stoner meshuggeners! Katherine Heigl, part of “team estrogen” on Grey’s Anatomy, plays Alison - the baby mama - quite well. The real star of the show is the writing. The scenes of Alison’s sister, Debbie (Leslie Mann) and Debbie’s husband, Pete (Paul Rudd), are so spot on it felt like Judd Apatow must have been in the car next to mine while my wife and I had one of our “discussions” about how I don’t, like, focus or whatever and I’m not or I don’t… who’s this email to? Oh. Sorry.
I have to say that knocking up my wife was the best thing I’ve ever done… thrice. I am most likely done having the childrens, but if I could clone my wife and paychecks, I’d want to have a whole gaggle of ‘em. Does that make me a Mormon? I know I’m getting this write up out weeks after the film hit theaters and it’s probably not that helpful anyway. Does that make me a Moron? Don’t hate me. I didn’t hate Knocked Up!
Dear chrismundell.com,
What items are currently on your nightstand?
Signed,
A faithful cm.com reader.
Great question, A.F.C.M.D.C.R!
There is an old 13″ TV that is rarely used for how huge it is.
On top of the TV, 2 photographs of my late Mom. She doesn’t have a punctuality problem. She’s has died.
Also, atop the TV, is my guitar tuner and all my C.S. Lewis books. I have read the Narnia books to my kids this year. After reading Tolkein, Narnia seems like something Tolkein could have sneezed out by accident. “HaaaaCHoooooo! No way: Dawn Treader.” I like Narnia though.
Next to the TV is a small IKEA desk lamp. The halogen bulb will burn the flesh from your metatarsals if you’re not careful!
Keep in mind, my nightstand is actually a chest of drawers made for a 12 yr old.
I should really look into grownup furniture.
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