Knocked Up

You're What!?!It’s never a position you plan to find yourself. It’s humiliating, embarrassing and if you could hide it you would. But you know that, eventually, they would find out. Your tummy is getting inordinately large. It’s a fact you need to face – Head on.

And I do so now: I went to see Knocked Up with Jeff Hatfield, Kevin Grose and Frank Paul Mastromarino, Jr. (no website) and I’m overweight. It was smack in between Jeff and Frank’s 37th birthday. I figured it would be nice to go to a Dodgers game. But first, some antics in lovely Los Angeles. It was “devil’s crack” degrees out so “antics” meant a movie in the well air conditioned Universal City Walk theater.

You may recall that I enjoyed, writer/director, Judd Apatow’s 40 Year Old Virgin quite a bit. I was looking forward to the 2nd in – what I have coined – his “Relations Trilogy”, Knocked Up. As with 40YOV, Apatow has created a touching “Do The Right Thing” tale (not Spike Lee’s movie with black people) wrapped in a ton of crude humor.

Since Jeff, Frank, Kevin and I have successfully reproduced (to varying degrees – Jeff can only make girls), we could relate to the main character, Ben (played by Seth Rogan) except that we got our ladies with-child-ed AFTER marrying them. Also, we didn’t spend our youth smoking ridiculous amounts of weed. When I say “we” I mean Jeff and me and mostly Frank. Still, I think every guy has had “… I got someone pregnant?” on his “What If” list at some point or another. Right between “… I could fly?” and “… I was a totally rad ninja?”.

The cast is pretty perfect. Ben and his buddies (the gang from Freaks and Geeks) were pretty likable but I wouldn’t want my daughters to have babies with any of them. At all. NOT because they’re Jewish. That’s racist. It’s because they were a bunch of stoner meshuggeners! Katherine Heigl, part of “team estrogen” on Grey’s Anatomy, plays Alison – the baby mama – quite well. The real star of the show is the writing. The scenes of Alison’s sister, Debbie (Leslie Mann) and Debbie’s husband, Pete (Paul Rudd), are so spot on it felt like Judd Apatow must have been in the car next to mine while my wife and I had one of our “discussions” about how I don’t, like, focus or whatever and I’m not or I don’t… who’s this email to? Oh. Sorry.

I have to say that knocking up my wife was the best thing I’ve ever done… thrice. I am most likely done having the childrens, but if I could clone my wife and paychecks, I’d want to have a whole gaggle of ’em. Does that make me a Mormon? I know I’m getting this write up out weeks after the film hit theaters and it’s probably not that helpful anyway. Does that make me a Moron? Don’t hate me. I didn’t hate Knocked Up!


  1. David Malloy UNITED STATES says

    Great review and an awesome picture (it looks like you had bad shellfish for lunch). Way to go Chris!!!

  2. Reading this review I felt I was experiencing the sequel “Did I Hate It?” to “MY Vasectomy!” Granted the cast of that review seemed to be mostly doctors, male nurses, and you in a room by yourself….what’s next in the trilogy:)

  3. cracked up.

  4. Ed Melendez says

    Nice review Chris, and since I am sitting in the computer room at one of the Colleges at Oxford, maybe you could review Harry EFEN Potter or something. Thought of you as I had a pint at The Bird & The Baby this afternoon after my morning tutorials, I sat under the photo of Tolkien…very Oxford I know. But I am in the process of applying for a Masters in Creative Writing here which would be as my mates here say “brilliant”. By the way love Freaks & Geeks!

  5. ED! Cheers to you in the U.K. and whatnot! I hope you get into the Masters program. Since all H. Potter films are blurring into the same movie, perhaps you could read my review of the last one and just throw in “Order of the Phoenix” where appropriate?

  6. that Potter review was hilarious! thanks for reminding me about it. 🙂

  7. I have actually asked the question that is posed on that poster in reference to myself before. But, the crazy thing was, it was in reference to THAT guy! Not Seth Rogan, the OTHER guy!

    And the only thing I could think about afterwards was *SHUDDER*. Not bad shudder. Good shudder.

    Maybe more like…quiver.