Archive for August, 2009

What’s the old saying? Never yell “Mein Fuhrer!” in a crowded theater? But what if the theater is full of Nazis? The bad kind. That’s one question faced by Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds.

Scott Shiffman and I went to see Quentin’s answer to this query. I was going to write that we couple of bastards went to see Inglourious Basterds, but I can only confirm that I barely know my dad. I’m not sure about Scott. Although, he may have been called that a time or two.

Being an astute filmmaker type guy, Scott noticed right away that Tarantino was crossing the lines in the opening scenes. To which I replied, “Totally. I was gonna totally say that, but just then, not because you did say that what I was gonna say the same thing.” I think Tarantino was employing that boo boo to make the movie feel like it was made in a bygone era, possibly by a filmmaker from another country, etc. He did that fairly successfully when coupled with some odd font choices in the  credits. He’s really good at that.

Brad Pitt is sehr gut as Lt. Aldo “The Apache” Raine, leader of an elite death brigade of angry Jews called the Inglourious Basterds. They call Aldo “The Apache” because his group engages the Nazis in what he describes as an Apache tactic of brutal killing that strikes fear into all who hear tales of it. I wouldn’t know about that because my dad named me Hopi after the peaceful Native American tribe. Hopi being the shortened version of Hopituh Shi-nu-mu, “The Peaceful People”. The Hopi didn’t do a lot of scalping, but these Nazi killing Jews sure did! A LOT. And I don’t mean selling sweet seats to Motorhead at a healthy markup over face value. I mean filleting a fair amount of a Nazi heads over their faces. Like with knives and whatnot. Yuck! Ich bin ein kranker, dude!

This is classic Tarantino in that the dialogue is great and full of tension and the violence flows like the wine of a place that is known for it’s wine flowing. Another great trait of Mr. Tarantino is casting. He has a terrific cast in place here and they are all strong. The incessant blood letting got to me after awhile, but it weren’t no surprise. That’s exactly what’s advertised: a hyper-violent revisionist revenge tale with a pile of dead Nazis on top.

I did NOT hate it, but I’m not sure I can sit through it again. War is Hell.

I need to apologize to the Metropolitan Theater Corporation for the large puddle of wiz I just left on my seat at the Metro 4. I couldn’t help it, you see, as I was watching District 9!

District 9 is a film set in modern day Johannesburg, South Africa. However, it’s an alternate modern day where, 20 years prior, a ginormous alien ship parked it right over Johannesburg* City. The alien race on the ship became malnourished and needed to be brought to the surface for help.

To make my movie going experience more authentic, I brought my very own South African, Greg Lawler! And to avoid our own malnourishment, Greg brought along the South African snack, Biltong! It was delicious and it was delightful to experience some of Greg’s homeland culture. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was just expensive beef jerky. So, if you see him, tell him I told you I feel like his world neighbor or some crap.

OK, back to the aliens. The film takes place after the aliens have been segregated, mistreated and made to live in squalor for two decades. I won’t say how, but there ends up being some, Grade A, blowing-stuff-up with some of the most convincing CGI I’ve ever seen! Alien weapon tech and lots of it!

Now, before you get all “sci-fi nerd hater” on me, let me just say that

A. I don’t even speak Klingon

and B. This movie has heart and a message.

Watching District 9 was like playing the video game HALO while watching OPRAH. It was HALOPRAH!

Speaking of HALO, the writer/director, Neill Blomkamp, was in pre-production on a movie based on the HALO video game until the finances fell apart. That’s when the coolest Executive Producer EVER, Peter Jackson, listened to (his wife) Fran’s idea… Let’s make Neill’s short film into a feature film! 30 million dollars later, I’m sitting there geeking out and peeing myself at the same time!

I do know a few words of Elvish, but none that describe this incredible film.  I DID NOT HATE IT!

*Greg tells me I should refer to Johannesburg as “Joburg” if I want to sound cool. But this is the same guy who thinks Biltong is something more than beef jerky so I’ll take my chances. Also, he likes rugby.