What would happen if you took Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, put ‘em in a movie directed by Kevin Smith, sprinkle in almost EVERY buddy-cop movie cliche and shake? I’m not sure. I imagine that would make them quite dizzy. I’m not even sure how you would shake all those things. Whose idea was it to shake? That’s a bad idea. Regardless, Dan Hislop asked some bro’s to join him to go see Cop Out.

My wife has been a HUGE Bruce Willis fan since Moonlighting. I mean she doesn’t have any action figures, but she was totally jealous with her jealousy! I’m sorry, honey, but I have no control over who the Bro’s call on. I too, likes me some Bruce Willlis. He did a great job in this one.

What about his partner? I remember the first time I saw Tracy Morgan on TV back in the early 90’s. It was on a show called The Uptown Comedy Club. Then he showed up on SNL and now 30 ROCK. Bringing the funny all the way. No exception here. Funny!

I gotta say that Kevin Smith made a really interesting choice with the score. He got Harold Faltermeyer to lay down the Fletch-iest, Beverly-Hills-Cop-iest synthy music!! It felt so familiar and perfect. Then Smith threw down every cliche I could think of and the movie didn’t suffer for it. I read a while back that Smith was thinking about doing a Fletch movie with Jason Lee but it never happened. Well he put Lee in this and paid HOMAGE!

I did not hate the HOMAGE!

I just watched Avatar win the Golden Globe for best Drama of 2009. Was it the best story told on film last year? No. But, which movie did I see twice? Avatar. It’s simply incredible to behold. Don’t worry, I’m not suffering from that post Avatar depression. I like my real life better. Avatar is what they call a game changer. Like the first talkies and Star Wars, etc.

When a movie makes a billion dollars there are bound to be detractors and naysayers and the like. Here’s my response to the people that say Avatar is basically Pocahontas in 3D: I would have seen this film twice if it was actually called  Pocahontas 3D!

I’m not naive. I know the story has been told before. I know it’s like Dances with Wolves. I know the Nav’i look like a blue Rocky Dennis, but you know what? Every story has been told before. The trick is to tell the story in a new and interesting way. James Cameron did that with Avatar. And Rocky Dennis was a person with feelings. So shut up, get your $13 out, put your 3D glasses on and enjoy these 10ft tall Methemoglobinemiacs!

I did NOT hate Avatar!

I finally saw Funny People. I was so looking forward to seeing it in the theater and then I didn’t make it happen and then it was too late. I discovered that regrets are a big theme in Funny People. Even Adam Sandler’s insanely famous and successful character, George, has more than his share. I heard that Funny People was a spot-on picture of the life of a comedian. It certainly shows that, but it’s really a bigger story about relationships and choices that resonated with me. I think Judd Apatow has established himself nicely with Funny People, 40 Year Old Virgin & Knocked Up. I hope he keeps it up because these comedies have a heart that is missing in a lot of the funny movies around lately.

The cast was strong in this one. Adam Sandler, Leslie Mann, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman and Eric Bana were all great.

This movie made me want to try stand up but the fear is still pretty strong. Not a fear of standing in front of people, but a fear of doing all the work to write a set.

What do you get when you mix up South Africa, Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon and Clint Eastwood? I don’t know. It depends on the mixing method, I suppose. BUT, if you have Clint Eastwood directing a film set in South Africa starring Freeman and Damon, the chances are good that you will end up with a sweet film!

For authenticity’s sake, I went to see Invictus with no less than three for-reals South Africans! One of my top-five best friends, Greg Lawler and his dad along with current Costa Rica resident Martyn Hoffman. Greg even wore his SA Rugby jersey! To make sure these guys didn’t get too cocky, we had our US team present. At forward, a two Chris front (Schoolland, Mundell). At Defense, a two Tad front (Clark, Wagner). And finally, a Nate (Rogers). The wild-card. Unfortunately, none of us Yanks knew the damned rules so…

With Invictus, you know what you’re in for. You know the political story, you know there is sports involved and you know the cast and crew are all top notch. With all that in mind going in you’d think I’d be sitting back going, “OK here’s the part about the racism and the elections. OK, here’s the Mandela being gracious, OK here’s the rugby that means more than just rugby” without being effected emotionally. But I was effected. I was on the edge of crying at several points. Now you might say, “Well, Chris, aren’t you ALWAYS on the edge of tears? Like when you think of your kids or God or, like, when you watch Biggest Loser?” OK, yes, that’s true, but this film is moving, man! South Africa’s Apartheid situation is recent history. I know these guys that grew up in it. It feels real and immediate. So all Clint had to do was tee it up and yell “Four!” Here is where I would insert a Tiger Woods joke. But, I have matured to the point that I no longer feel like I need to prove myself in that way. OK, fine. They say Tiger was stingy & uncharitable, but a bowl of tiger penis soup cost US $ 320 in Taiwan and he was giving it away free y’all!! WHAT!?! He’s like the Bob Geldof of Tiger Penis!

I leave you with this moving poem, the namesake of the film. Morgan Freeman did the voice-over. Too bad they couldn’t get someone with chops…

Invictus

Getting sent to bed without dinner doesn’t sound too harsh a punishment to me these days. I could actually use the drop in my daily cyclone of calories. But the 9-year-old me would have been bummed out!

In Maurice Sendak’s Where The Wild Things Are, 9-year-old Max earns himself the no din-din due to some misbehavin’. I don’t recall the severity of his trespass in the book, but in the film adaptation, it’s pretty severe.

That’s a suitable word for Spike Jonze’s film version. It’s more severe than the book. And it’s incredible. Spike has made a wonderful film here. He takes the beloved, if short, source material and really creates something unique and something more. It’s like the book is the shallow end of the pool and the film is the deeper (scarier) end of the same pool. And Jonze jumps us off the high dive of emotion inside a boy living with his post-divorce family. What a great choice for the film!

Thankfully, I saw this movie with my friend, Scott Shiffman. We both earned our Broken Home Badge in scouts. I could identify with Max and his frustration and powerlessness. With a sister drifting away and a mom who was, at once, not there for me and all I had in the whole wide world. It’s enough to make a kid want to sail away to an island and live with wild things.

The Wild Things are just spectacular! I can’t say enough good stuff about them. The voice actors, the costumes, the measured use of CGI, it all added up to a seamless performance. I knew when I saw Peter Jackson’s Gollum and King Kong that movie tech had turned a corner and we would get some believable acting from CGI faces.

Max was played so well by actor Max Records. He was believable in both the painful and touching moments.

I gotta say that Catherine Keener is one of my favorites! She plays the mom and I just watched her in another Wild film, Sean Penn’s Into The Wild. She has got something very familiar about her. Maybe she reminds me of my mom. Not sure.

My 6-year-old daughter, Malia’s Kindergarten class read the book this year and she REALLY wanted to see the movie. I’ve decided that it’s too intense and a bit scary at times for her to view in a theater. Maybe next year on our TV where I can monitor and fast forward some. Malia made this painting. I do NOT hate it and I DID NOT HATE WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!

I had a sweet gig on Sunday night. Before I tell you about it, let me introduce the other players in my group.

On lead: Matt Knoles

On rhythm/lead (electric): Tom Hilzer

On rhythm (acoustic): Scott Anderson

On Bass: Brad McCarter

Band Manager: Tad Clark

Producer: Scott Shiffman

We are THE TICKET STUBS!! WE LOVE YOU SANTA BARBARA! DO YOU VALIDATE?!

We saw Davis Guggenheim’s IT MIGHT GET LOUD!! I’m not sure about the convenience of this truth, but the truth is, this film is cool! I was gonna write that this film rocked, but that was way too obvious. So instead I chose to go with the-so-much-more-creative “cool”. Oooo! Did you see what I did there? Guggenheim directed An Inconvenient Truth so I said the thing about the convenience and then I said “cool” and that movie was about Global Warming!! Booya!

I’m not a strong writer. I’m also not a strong guitar player and tonight proves it. Oh man! What a line up! We got to witness Jack White, The Edge and freaking Jimmy Page!! Each player bringing their own unique style and sound, each story inspiring . I found myself wanting to practice guitar WAY more. Tom said he was ready to get rid of all his guitars. See? Inspiring! Unlike this write up… I’m done! I DID NOT HATE IT!!

PS – The Ticket Stubs have decided to disband due to artistic differences. And Brad’s drug habit. And Matt is a show-off. And Tom and Scott Anderson fight constantly. And Scott Shiffman is working with the Jonas Bros. And Tad stole our money.