Hero In this beautiful epic, Jet Li plays a swordsman called No Name (it sounds cooler in Chinese). He is quiet and can kill a man silly fast with his sword or wallet, pretty much anything. He doesn’t talk much and when he does it’s in Chinese. I didn’t understand a word since I skipped that class (along with Math and other important classes that would have helped me graduate with some level of confidence instead of graduating by my bottom hair). They were nice enough to provide subtitles, however. Hero is easily the 3rd best movie I’ve ever read (luckily, Matt was there to help me with the big words). The 1st would have to go to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon followed closely by the 2nd best movie I ever read, The Passion of the Christ. Speaking of Crouching Tiger, Hero was a little too familiar. I understand that Chinese myth may have some similar themes, but come on. I heard this movie was produced by Quentin Tarantino. I kept waiting for Chow Yun Fat to show up with the Green Destiny sword saying “Surprise! I’m not dead, mofo’s! Somebody killed MY master and they gonna PAAAAY! You know what they call Shrimp Fried Rice in France, beeeoch!?!” With Tarantino involved, I was a little nervous, but I’m happy to report that no ears get cut off and there was no sign of a gimp, thank Buddah.

Hey webfriends! When I had the opportunity to check out a SBIFF screening of We Don’t Live Here Anymore, a film with adultery in it (among other things), I thought to myself “DATE MOVIE!” So, I called up Matt Steele, web designer and mastermind of the all the inner workings of ChrisMundell.com. Matt is a bigger movie geek than me so I figured he would enjoy the experience which included a visit from Laura Dern! I have a special treat for you… The first tag team movie review ever! (except Ebert and Roper and other ones)

Chris: With out further ado, I’d like to welcome Matt. Welcome, Matt.

Matt: Hey, Chris. Thanks for inviting me. First off, how in the world did we end up seeing this film together? The only special effects I remember were the credits. No droids, orcs or sabers of any kind. Just a bunch of…..drama.

Chris: Good point, Matt. Hey, remember that part where Terry said ‘F you’ to the dryer? Priceless.

Matt: Was it directed to the dryer or to the clothes she didn’t want to fold? You see, dirty clothes just keep coming and coming, just like her marriage problems. And her drinking.

Chris: Wow, Matt! That is insightful. You are smart. There sure was a lot of humping in this movie.

Matt: I’m glad we sat with a seat between us, if that’s what you are getting at.

Chris: What!?! Dude, you’re getting the totally wrong idea!

Matt: Well WHO invited WHO to this movie about extramarital humping?!?!!!

Chris: Listen, man, I invited you because you like movies and my wife would have dry heaved at a couple points there. I mean, I love you but it’s friend love not foot massage love.  I just don’t see you that way.

Matt: Well now I don’t know whether to be relieved or hurt. I’ll choose to be relieved. Anyway, wouldn’t you agree that those kids seemed to be really well balanced? Their parents splitting up seemed as easy for them as wife-swapping was for the adults!

Chris: The kids seemed to do the best they could, but you could see the effect of the loveless marriage or the loud fighting. I mean, that kid wee’d his bed!  You did look cute in that cowboy hat though.

Matt: What!?!

Chris: The hat you wore.  It looked good.  I’m just sayin’.

Matt: Well, it is a bit slimming…hmmm…maybe you should get one?

Chris: No, it will just make me look like a cowboy…with a fat gut.

Matt: Maybe you could pick up running like a freak AND smoking a pack a day like Jack in We Don’t Live Here Anymore?

Chris: In what?

Matt: We Don’t Live Here Anymore, the movie we’re reviewing?

Chris: Are we still doing that? Oh yeah. I liked Jack. I think Mark Ruffalo and I could be buddies. Don’t you?

Matt: Yeah. Maybe you can take HIM to your next date movie.

Chris: OK, folks! There it is. Matt and I agree: Mark Ruffalo and I should be buddies.

Welcome to my first movie review. What a movie to start with! Spider-man 2 was awesome! Better than the first? Yep. How? The story, the acting, the action, the effects, the bad guy, everything!
This is what I’ve wanted since I was a kid! Great Spider-man movies!!!!
I mean, I was all excited when I heard about the Spider-Man TV show, in ’77. Then I saw it. Wow. It was crap-tastic. But it was all we had.
OK, back to Spider-man 2…
To some extent, we have the same characters dealing with the same issues, but not in a bad way. This time we get more. In the first Spider-man, we got to peek at the emotion in each relationship. Here we get to really focus. That’s what surprised me: this was a VERY emotional story. I expected bigger effects and action, but we got a touching story with bigger effects and action.
Toby Maguire was terrific AGAIN as Peter Parker. Poor Peter, he gets no respect. He’s just a regular guy trying to protect NYC. That’s what’s so great about Spider-man: he’s approachable. People talk smack to him. Dogs bark at him. He gets fired from jobs.
Sam Raimi raised the proverbial bar for the superhero movies. He brought a lot of the quiet moments out nicely.
If I still had my Spider-man Underoos, I’d wear them proudly. Of course, the bottoms wouldn’t fit past my feet and the shirt would be a tight tube top. You see, I wear a 13 ½ shoe and I’m a bit wide in the mid-section. I have a chubby gut. It’s the soda pop and the burritos. A lot of it.